


The Price of Torture

by littlewonder



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Dialogue Heavy, Genocide, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Episode: s04e26 Broken Link, Prison, Psychological Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:00:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21732616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlewonder/pseuds/littlewonder
Summary: Julian Bashir has friends who have been victims, of the Cardassians, of the Argrathi. But when one of those friends, Garak, betrays him by almost killing him and committing genocide against the Founders, he must confront him.The confrontation stirs up more than he'd bargained for.
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Kudos: 35





	The Price of Torture

The Cardassians would envy the kind of “swift justice” the Argrathi had. Not only was it swifter than Cardassian justice, but it was possibly even more terrible.

Cheap, psychological torture. Certainly it would save the Union on prison costs. Not to mention the fact that even those who the Union would ordinarily sentence to death, could get a worse sentence if they had the technology that the Argrathi have. If living on the station could nearly drive Garak to suicide, just imagine the unnecessary pain and torture the Cardassians could commit on countless others if they had Argrathi tech.

Julian was used to saving lives, not only with medicine, but with kindness. He only wished the rest of the universe were a little more kind. Instead, they resort to warfare: physical, psychological, biological. He could only be thankful that the hostile governments that did exist didn’t have vaster power to destroy.

Warfare solves nothing. All it does is spread pain, and death. And Julian had found himself on the frontlines of that pain and death long enough to know that suffering changes nothing. Whatever conflicts are in existence, violence rarely solves it. And Julian would risk his life to stop it.

So when Garak, someone who he considered a friend, had betrayed him and nearly committed genocide against the Founders of the Dominion while Julian was on their planet, he felt betrayed, but he should barely have been shocked.

Garak was sentenced to six months in a holding cell on DS9, and if Julian were honest, he knew that was a light sentence for his crime. 

But he had no real hate in his heart for Garak, even after what he did. Hate solves nothing, after all. The fact that such things like prisons and solitary confinement even still existed at all seemed unjust to him. They seemed like tools of a revenge system, rather than a justice system. True justice should rehabilitate, not punish. Punishment only spreads hate and pain more.

Since Garak’s sentence, Julian had been given plenty of time to think, about all the unjust alien systems he’d ever heard of, from the Cardassians to the Argrathi, systems that had hurt his friends; O’Brien had been persecuted by both, and Garak had been exiled by the former, a sentence which, to Garak, was worse than death. Imagine what they could’ve done with Argrathi tech.

And whether they were guilty or innocent, Julian had always bared the pain of his friends through their trials, and wished for a more just universe.

In the end, he decided that if no one else would show kindness to Garak, or to attempt to understand him, then he would.

So Julian visited his cell.

“Would you really have done it?”

Julian stood in front of Garak’s closed cell, and Garak had smiled, and stood, and cautiously approached the barrier. Nervously, Julian fiddled his hands, fear and sadness in his eyes. 

“Done it? My dear doctor, whatever do you mean?” said Garak.

“Killed me, in order to commit genocide against the Founders. I saved your life once.” 

“I perfectly remember, doctor,” said Garak, “when that wire in my head was killing me. I suppose you regret it now, saving my life?” 

“No,” said Julian, softly and a little surprised. “No, I don’t regret it,” he said. “I will never regret saving a life, no matter what the consequences.” 

“Not even if that life you saved killed you, and a whole race of people? Not even then?” 

“I know what I did was right,” said Julian seriously. “I know I can’t change other people, if they really want to spread hatred, or pain, or death. But I always hoped, that by being kind, that I would spread kindness. Enough, I hoped, to counter the evil in the world.” 

“So you think I’m evil now.” 

“No, Garak, I don’t believe you’re evil, not wholly anyway. Somewhere in there, I know there’s good. I don’t think you’ve ever really decided which one between the two you really are. I also know that some part of you wants to choose evil, because your society demands it of you. But I know you’re not, and I hope you won’t choose it in the end. I’m only glad Worf stopped you before you made a terrible mistake.” 

“I’m not so sure he did,” said Garak earnestly, passion sneaking into his voice. “If he hadn’t stopped me, we wouldn’t be looking down the threat of a Dominion War, I would’ve stopped it in its tracks. But now… not only Cardassia, but the entire Alpha Quadrant is at stake. Your home. My home.” 

“Sometimes doing the right thing, is scarier, because it puts us at risk. But it’s still worth it. It forces you to be brave, but the potential reward for our bravery is to reconcile our differences, and to gain a new understanding of each other in the process.” 

“I doubt the Founders want to understand us. All they want to do is annihilate us.” 

“Maybe that’s true. But I live in hope that that might change. Because our fighting isn’t worth it, it’s never worth it. I still hope we can live in a world of freedom, and mutual understanding.” 

“Then you’re an even bigger fool than I took you for,” burst out Garak. “I lived in hope, too, until I heard the truth from the Founder’s own lips. They are merciless, they take no prisoners, and there is no hope of saving lives once they get their hands on them. This is all you get. Pain, and hatred, and fear, that’s all the universe is ever capable of, in the end. I learned that lesson the hard way.”

Softly, Julian replied, “Then I hope, one day, I can help you unlearn it. Because there’s still good in the universe, Garak, you just haven't experienced it. The right people―” 

“The right people. Like you?” 

“For a start.” 

“And arrogant, too!” said Garak, turning from Julian and pacing in his cage, his voice twisted in disgust and disbelief. “The universe is far too cruel to rely on others’ mercy. You have to take opportunity where it presents itself, because the only things that are guaranteed in this life are death and cruelty.” 

“I thought that was death and taxes.” 

“An interesting perspective. But I don’t see where you’ve come up with it, since your own society doesn’t demand taxes.” 

“It’s an old Earth saying. Goes back to before we abolished capitalism.” 

“Well, unlike taxes, cruelty seems to be a universal constant,” said Garak. “And the only way to fight cruelty is with cruelty.” 

“You cannot fight fire with fire,” said Bashir. “You have to fight it with water. Otherwise, the blaze will only grow and kill everyone in its path. That seems a senseless waste to me. Cruelty begets cruelty. But kindness has the potential to eliminate it.” 

“But you cannot defend yourself with kindness. It is far too weak; cruelty would smother it. And I am far too eager to stay alive to let kindness destroy me.” 

“It takes bravery to be kind,” said Julian sadly. “Maybe that’s the problem. Everybody wants to attack first. That’s how wars are created. Peace means lowering your weapon. And that means risking getting shot.” 

“And I would never do that.”

“You’re afraid,” said Julian. “In a way, that is its own kind of weakness ―” 

“I am not weak!” shouted Garak. 

“I’m sorry if I hit a nerve,” said Julian. “But sometimes, you have to be the bigger man.” 

“Why? Why should I be, doctor?” demanded Garak.

“The reason you were aboard the Defiant at all is because I vouched for you," said Julian. That makes me feel at least partially responsible for what you did. If you had killed them, and me, and Sisko, it would’ve been on my head as well as yours. I never wanted to be on opposite sides, but that’s what you made us. Look at us, Garak! You’re on the other side of this force field. You’re advocating for death, and I’m advocating for life! You betrayed me, Garak.” 

Garak considered Julian. “I wouldn’t underestimate the value of being on opposite sides, doctor. This is not our first argument, and it won’t be our last.” 

“That’s different ―” 

“It is exactly the same, doctor!” said Garak. “Conflict betters us, it helps us to grow. It matters not whether it’s big or small, it is all a part of our inner journey.” 

“Then let me add to your ‘inner journey,’ by letting you know that the price of cruelty is making the world worse, not better; the price of death, is that it never allows anyone the chance to grow; and the price of this constant torture that you seem determined to put yourself through for the good of Cardassia, isn’t growth, but the continuation of this cycle of cruelty that began with your people in the first place!” 

“So the truth finally comes out: your contempt for Cardassia was always there, plain as a Risian summer day in the way you criticised Cardassian literature, but now you finally admit it. You hate Cardassia ―” 

“―I never said that ―” 

“―and you just can’t stand the idea that someone could dare to challenge anything about your lofty Federation ideals.” 

“―That isn’t true!” 

“Oh, face it, doctor. If I am weak, you are far more so. No weakness I hold in my heart could hold a candle to the open target that is your heart. You constantly put yourself on the line, and for what? You wouldn’t last a minute on Cardassia…”

“Maybe I don’t want to. It doesn’t matter if I would survive there or not, I simply wouldn’t play their games. I know, I can see it when I look at you, how self-destructive they are. Look at you, Garak, you are pulling yourself apart, playing these games. It’s tearing you up inside, unravelling your mind and corrupting your goodness. How awful it must feel to be constantly on edge, always looking over your shoulder, doing your worst just to stay alive. And you think us humans hold a dark secret in our DNA. If your society is anything to judge by, there must be something truly dark in yours.” 

“Touché, doctor. You’re quite right, of course. There is something dark in being a Cardassian. Perhaps it’s why I’m so drawn to you; something in you calls to me. We may be on two opposite sides, but we are remarkably suited to each other. Opposites, yet exactly alike. It is as though we were meant to be…” 

“You may be right, Garak. Maybe we are meant to be,” said Julian. “Which is why I must ask you, and know for sure, if you would really have done it. Thrown it all away just for revenge, to commit genocide against the Founders. Would you have done it, and lived with the decision?”

“Yes, doctor, I would have. I would’ve made that sacrifice, just as you were once willing to kill me in order to save your friends. That is the power of sacrifice,” said Garak. “It’s supposed to hurt. Losing you would’ve hurt me, doctor, more than you can possibly know. But even if I had spent my whole life mourning you, it would’ve been worth it, to preserve the life that the sacrifice was for. It was my duty.” 

Julian looked at him, as though astonished. “You really do love me, don’t you? In your own way.” 

“It hardly matters.” 

“Garak, of course it matters!” cried Julian. “The fact that we all survived this horrible experience, that you’re getting out in another three months, we could…”

The suggestion hung in the air, both of them understanding what Julian had been about to say.

“Is that what you want?” asked Garak.

“Despite everything… yes. It wouldn’t be easy…”

“It wouldn’t be worth it.” 

“What? Why not?” 

“I would be making myself too soft a target.” 

“For who?” Julian demanded. “Garak, you’re not a spy anymore.” 

“No one ever really leaves. Even former spies have enemies.” 

“It would be worth it,” said Julian, “despite the danger. I know you’re just afraid of the consequences, but trust me, the consequences of not seizing this chance are even worse. You might survive longer, but you wouldn’t really live. You’d be dead already, and they would’ve killed you. You’d be allowing them to define your life. That’s something I would refuse to do.” 

For a moment, they simply stared at each other, Julian seeming to dare Garak to take that chance, for once. “It wouldn’t change your feelings, either way,” said Julian. “It wouldn’t change anything anyone else might do. It would just give you back your life."

For many long moments, Garak seemed to contemplate this.

“Something to think about, anyway,” said Julian. “I’ll come back once you’ve had time to consider it.” 

Julian left somewhat trepidatiously. He had things of his own to figure out. Even without Argrathi tech, the Cardassians had done quite a number on Garak’s mind. He wondered if there was any reaching him.

One thing was sure: if Garak said yes, Julian would accept him. 

But getting there would not be easy. Was there any decoding that Cardassian mind?


End file.
